


bring back what once was mine

by Kittycombs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 05:00:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycombs/pseuds/Kittycombs
Summary: day two - second chances





	bring back what once was mine

The only way Ben had to measure the years was however much Luke had grown. Days and nights held no meaning in the wastes. 

Luke would have been up to Anakin's waist now.

He could see the boy playing outside his family's home, blonder than Anakin had been. 

Ben tries very hard not think about how he's likely the same age that his father had been when Obi-Wan had taken him in. Had he really grown so old?

In the Force, Ben can feel Owen begin to come up the stairs to the outer door. Ben turns to leave.

He's making the walk back to his humble shelter - it doesn't feel like home, home was the Temple, home was the rooms he had shared with Qui-Gon, home was the rooms he had shared with Anakin - when he had to stop and sit. It must have been quite a long time; his joints never disobeyed him like this before. Ben has no mirror in his place, trimming his hair and beard with the surety that comes with years of practice. He knows he hasn't gone completely grey, not yet, but that's about it. All the pain of the years that he knows is all internal.

A scream sounds across the wastes. Ben is on his feet in a second, his hand going to his hip to grasp the lightsaber that hasn't hung there in years. It's in the pack on his back. He had tried to go without it, tried to make do with the feel of a blaster on his hip - it was certainly less suspicious on the off-chance of an Imperial squadron appearance - but he felt naked without knowing that it was near him. 

The scream had issued from a woman who is circled by giant banthas. Ben reacts quickly, reaching out in the Force to the animals minds, sending a soothing feel to them. They disperse easily enough, and Ben leans down to help her up.

She is old, wrinkled, the folds of her skin so deep that Ben thinks wildly that there may yet be sand stuck in them. This woman could be as old as Yoda. 

She turns to him and smiles. One eye is cloudy white, blinded, and the other is so dark brown that it is almost black. “You are an interesting man.” Her voice is smooth, as though from a person much younger. “What is your name? Not many people would help a witch of the wastes.”

“My name is Ben.”

“Just Ben?”

“Well, we all have our secrets.”

She laughs at him. “So are you a fellow witch then? Dispersing that herd would be impossible for any normal person.”

Ben forgets, sometimes, that on Tatooine they are so removed from the rest of the Galaxy that the Force is magic and the Jedi a myth. “I suppose that I am, from a certain point of view.”

“A very interesting man. You sound like an off-worlder.”

“Yes.”

“Where do you come from, Ben? I want to know.” She looks him in the eye, the cloudy white following the movements of the brownish black, but it remains unfocused. “I'm very good at finding things out, so I will know eventually.”

“I am originally from Stewjon.” It had been in a file he had read in his Padawan days, curious in his origin. Turns out it had never been relevant, but some part of him deep down was relieved to know. 

“From a certain point of view?” The woman won't stop smiling at him, and it's beginning to be unsettling. “You were born there, but Stewjon is outer rim like us. You don't sound like an us.”

“I was raised on Coruscant.”

“That would do it, yes.” Her eyebrows raise at him. “My name is Maydi, and you'll be coming with me to get a drink of tea before you go on your way, I won't hear a word against it. You've done a witch a favor, and you'll be getting your reward.”

She snakes her arm into his, and begins to pull him along.

“Truly, Madame, I require no thanks.”

“So you were raised to accept no thanks?”

Ben stays silent. This woman is brewing trouble.

“Not so talkative now? Hmm? Interesting.”

The walk feels very short, and Ben worries for a moment that he will be unable to find his way back to his own slice of the desert.

Maydi ushers him inside, and there is a mirror right in the entryway. So he hasn't gone completely grey then.

“So, what's your favorite type of tea? Doesn't matter, I only have white. But the illusion of choice is nice, is it not? How do you take your tea? Doesn't matter, I don't keep any fixings around.”

Ben smiles politely. “Desert life does not lend itself to simple pleasures.”

Maydi laughs. “You are a very interesting man. Can I tell you what I know?”

Ben shifts in the seat he had taken. “I will not stop you.”

“Very good, Master Jedi. You're learning.”

Ben stands abruptly. “If you'll excuse me-”

Maydi laughs again. “Don't worry. I won't tell. And even if I did, who is going to believe the Witch of the Wastes? The Jedi are dead.”

Ben can feel the grief creeping into his consciousness, but he pushes it away so that it doesn't drown him. “Not quite,” he whispers.

“Evidently.”

Ben can remember Anakin telling him about an old woman in the desert who help the lost and returned children. He had wandered away from his mother once, and the woman had returned him. 

And that's his allotment of thinking about Anakin for the day.

“So, Master Jedi. What brings you out here? Hiding from the Empire? There would be better places to hide.”

“No, not just hiding.”

“You're very good at answering half of my questions, aren't you?” She focuses her eye on him again. “You know, even out here, we hear stories. One of our own became a Jedi, once. Doesn't happen too often. Those Core worlders don't want to be bothered to travel all the way out here. His name was Anakin.” Ben still has enough control over his body to stop himself from flinching at the name. “His name was Anakin Skywalker. Are you familiar? Maybe you knew him in passing.”

Ben looks at a his hands, at the table, the walls, the window, the ceiling. Anything other than Maydi’s too-knowing eyes. “Yes, I…I knew him.”

“Did you know him well? Do you know what happened to him? Remember, Ben. I'll know if you lie.” Maydi leans forward. Years seem to have slipped off her face. “And I don't like it when people lie.”

“I trained him.” Ben hesitates. “I failed him.”

“Funny how often those two intertwine.”

“On the contrary, I find nothing funny about it.”

Maydi shifts the tea over to him. “So you have regrets? Where is Anakin now? I know his mother died.”

“Anakin is dead.”

“You're a good liar, Master Jedi, but I've been seeing through liars longer than you've been alive.”

“It's true.” Ben wants to leave, doesn't want this witch pulling at the scabs over his still injured heart. 

“It's what you  _ want  _ to be true, certainly. You must be Obi-Wan Kenobi then. He trained Anakin Skywalker.”

“I was Obi-Wan Kenobi once, yes.”

Maydi raises an eyebrow. “Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

Ben laughs at that. Laughing feels wrong. 

“Many people, actually. Anakin loved to tell me that.”

“And what about Anakin?”

“He was more a man of action.”

Maydi points a finger at him. “Not what I meant, Master Jedi. What about Anakin? Did you love Anakin? Do you love Anakin?”

Ben’s eyes are wet, and his throat is tight. “Yes.”

“Which one?”

Damn this woman. “Both. I loved him. I still love him. I shouldn't.”

“We all do a lot of things we shouldn't.”

“Anakin...Anakin doesn't exist anymore, I would say. The last time I saw him,” Ben hesitates. Thinking of Mustafar hurts. “The last time I saw him, there wasn't any Anakin left.”

Maydi stands and starts rummaging through her cupboards. “Now that's not true either. There was enough of him left that you couldn't kill him, now was there?”

Ben curls in on himself. “Yes.”

“And you'd do it all differently if you could, no doubt.”

“I...I would do all of it differently. I made so many mistakes; I wouldn't even know where to begin.”

Maydi turns back to him, studying him carefully. “It wasn't all your fault, Obi-Wan.” She walks behind him and starts rubbing at his stiff shoulders. “You were too young. They asked too much of you.  _ He  _ asked too much of you.”

“No, Anakin didn't know any-”

“Not Anakin. Qui-Gon.”

Ben turns gracelessly and falls off the chair. “How do you know that name?”

Maydi’s face is young now. Young and smooth, like Padmé's had been. “The Force tells me things, Obi-Wan Kenobi. It tells me many things.”

Ben stares at her, part awestruck, part terrified. 

“You must have noticed that the Force feels different out here. Not so much muddling it. It listens, out here, in a way I'd wager it doesn't so close in.”

“I...I had noticed a slight difference.”

Maydi kneels down close to him - too close, if Ben is honest. “So tell me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Do you want a second chance? Or would that be too much? Do you want to try again, or do you want live out the rest of your life protecting Anakin's child? Yes, I know. I know a lot of things. So what do you want? There is no wrong choice.” She moves even closer, running her fingers through his hair. “The Force has given a gift to Its favorite child. A second chance.”

Ben scoffs. “Favorite child?”

“Yes, you have suffered much, sweet child. But you have been so loved. That's why it hurt so much, no? You love him, and he loved you. That's a sweet feeling. You keep beating the odds, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You keep giving all you have, and asking nothing in return. Anakin failed you too, but you protected his child. You could have left. He would be safe either way. But you stay.”

“It's the right thing to do.”

Maydi smiles sadly, her eyes a thousand years old. “You're always doing the right thing, just because it's the right thing. And after all that, this whole life of giving, the Force is giving you the chance to take. Will you take it? A second chance?”

“But Luke-”

“Luke Skywalker is too good to be hurt. Not now. Not while he's a child still.”

“What would this second chance entail? What's the catch?”

Maydi sits back on her feet. “Haven't you been listening? No catch. A second chance. A redo. You could save him, Obi-Wan. You could save him. You could love him.”

Ben swallows. After a life of sacrifice, he can, just this once, be selfish. “Yes. Yes, I...I want a second chance.”

Maydi smiles. “Then you will get your second chance. Relax, Obi-Wan. Relax, and let yourself float. Be happy, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Be happy.”

The world shifts backwards, as if he is falling on a bed quickly, and the last feeling to fade is the feeling of Maydi pressing her forehead to his.

* * *

 

“Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan!” Someone is calling his name, he recognizes that voice, but he's uncomfortable and he hurts. “Obi-Wan, please. Please wake up, Master. Please.” 

Master? Obi-Wan is up like a shot, his chest heaving. “Anakin?”

And it is. It is Anakin. Messy hair, tan face, stupidly impractical synthhide and all. Obi-Wan sobs. “Oh,  _ Anakin. _ I thought you lost.” He grabs Anakin to himself, pulling him close, closer than he ever would have dared before. He buries his face in Anakin's shoulder. 

If Anakin is shocked by this, he doesn't show it, grabbing Obi-Wan back with equal fierceness. “Me? Obi-Wan,  _ you're  _ the one who got hit by that wall. I'm safe. I'm alright. This battle is done.”

And the thing is - this battle  _ is  _ done. The battle Obi-Wan has fought against himself for so long is done. He won't keep fighting it any longer. 

Maydi’s voice echoes in his head. 

_ “Be happy, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Be happy.” _

He pulls back from Anakin just enough to see his face. “Anakin, I. There's something that I need you to know.”

Anakin's head moves closer to his. “What is it, Obi-Wan?”

“Anakin, I know I've never said it. I've never been the type of person to say it, and I don't think I ever will be. But you're the type of person who needs to hear it, so I'll say it.”

Anakin's brow furrows. “Are you sure you didn't hit your head, Master? You're not making any sense.”

Obi-Wan grabs Anakin's shoulders. “I love you, Anakin. I do. I love you. I have loved you for a very long time.”

Several emotions flick over Anakin's face faster than Obi-Wan’s tired mind can process them. “I,” Anakin gasps. “Obi-Wan, I-”

“I'm not asking you to feel the same way, and I don't expect you to. But you need to know. I needed to tell you.”

Anakin's eyes begin to fill with tears. “You have no idea,” he inhales a shaky breath, “you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you same that.”

Obi-Wan sits up a bit in shock. He never expected this react-

And Anakin is kissing him. Their noses are smushed together, Anakin's face is wet on his, it's far from perfect, but it's  _ them _ and Obi-Wan wouldn't trade it for the world. Anakin's hand is twisting in his hair, the other cupping his hand so carefully. 

Anakin pulls away, and it's too soon. 

Anakin presses their foreheads together. “I love you too, Obi-Wan. I always have.”

It isn't perfect - it never quite will be, both of them broken in their own unfixable ways - but for now, the bridges are mended and crossed, the darkness fades, and the warmth between them is better than a fire on a cold night. Obi-Wan knows how to make things better now. He can't fix everything, but he'll do all he can, like he always does, and prays that this time it's enough. 

Over Anakin's shoulder, Obi-Wan can see Maydi. Her face is wet with happy tears.

“Thank you,” he mouths. “Thank you.”

Maydi smiles.

She fades away, and Obi-Wan pulls back from Anakin's embrace and looks at his beloved face. 

“I do love nothing in the worlds so much as you. Is not that strange?”

Anakin gives a watery laugh. “You  _ would  _ think love is strange.”

“And you  _ would  _ look right past a compliment in order to tease me.”

“Obi-Wan.” Anakin has only said his name, but there is so much emotion in it. 

“There'll be time for talking later,” Obi-Wan says, and full on attacks Anakin's mouth, rolling on top of him. 

Anakin laughs, and Obi-Wan’s heart swells at hearing the sound of it. 

“Much later.”

**Author's Note:**

> her name is pronounced may-dee
> 
> also sorry that this wasn't posted during the actual week i didnt write anything in advance and a massive depressive wave hit and i wasnt able to do much of anything (expect some more fic soon, manic episodes normally follow ~~yay bipolar disorder~~)
> 
> bonus points to anyone who caught the shakespeare reference


End file.
